Elise’s Guide to Summer Sexual Safety

The lazy days of summer are upon us. Finally the time to relax, have fun and travel is in full swing. But for many teens and young adults, summer can also be a time to turn off the thinking skills demanded of them during the school year. This week, I want to share with you how to enjoy some summer lovin’ while keeping those thinking skills on.




Stay Focused and Aware

It’s no secret that alcohol lowers inhibitions, and that includes inhibitions about engaging in sexual activity. Although risk taking doesn’t discriminate, alcohol related risk taking is the greatest threat to people ages 18-24. According to a government survey, in 2010, 400,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 reported having unprotected sex due to alcohol consumption. Having unprotected sex is an activity that shouldn’t be on anyone’s summer-fun list. Failing to use a condom will increase the risk of contracting an STD, as well as increase the risk of pregnancy. But the risks don’t stop there; alcohol consumption increases the risk for sexual assault and date rape as well. 100,000 of those 400,000 students reported that at they were too intoxicated to remember if they consented to sex at least one time. These numbers are shocking. Take every precaution possible to not be part of the statistics. Be smart, be safe and always be in control of your choices.

Safety Tip: When going out this summer always carry a condom and always stick with friends. If you’re around people that care about you, your chances of going through with a bad decision are lower.

Stay Out of the Water

If you’re going on a tropical vacation or simply sitting poolside in the backyard, summer can make couples have the urge to get “adventurous.” Fantasies about making love under a waterfall or having a steamy session in the hot tub may sound wonderful, but the condom sliding off or breaking isn’t quite so romantic. When using a condom for sexual activity in water, any water-based or even natural lubricant will be washed away, making friction a bigger issue. If there is not enough lubricant, the condom is at a greater risk of breaking; making you or your partner at greater risk of contracting an STD or becoming pregnant. In addition, if at any point water seeps in between the condom and the penis (which can happen if the penis loses erection even for a second), the condom could slide off and you may not even be aware of it. So lip-lock in the ocean all you want, but make sure to take it to shore when it gets hot and heavy.

Safety Tip: Using a condom is better than not using one at all. If you and your honey are stranded at sea from a terrible boat crash this summer, take extra precautions: put the condom on outside of the water and use a silicon based lubricant.

Don’t get Lazy

They don’t call it the “lazy days of summer” for nothing. When the weather is hot, it’s easier to make excuses or cancel appointments to go outside instead. In order to stay on top of your sexual health, get to the gynecologist or your family physician sooner rather than later. Get tested and stock up on condoms or birth control pills before you leave for that three week vacation. If you can’t afford protection, your local Planned Parenthood has got you covered, literally.

Safety Tip: Write a to-do list and make getting tested and having protection number one. Cross it off when you’ve done it and then have a safe, fun, memorable summer!

Elise
PPRSR Marketing Intern

Amendment One

When I opened my eyes Wednesday morning of last week, I was relived to be waking up a resident of New York State. Why, you ask? Tuesday night, North Carolina passed Amendment One, an amendment that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Although North Carolina was a state which already held a law banning gay marriage, Amendment One securely slams the door on the issue, going one step further in including a ban on same-sex civil unions.

However, members of the LGBT community are not the only ones who should be saddened by this decision; the “marriage-plus” amendment could potentially affect straight couples in civil union. Jeremy Kennedy, campaign manager for Protect All NC Families, a campaign against Amendment One, is concerned about the future of health benefits for domestic partners, gay or straight. There is also the fear that Amendment One could disrupt protection orders for unmarried couples, making it difficult to file for domestic abuse cases if a person is living with their significant other.

Amendment One is clearly a discriminatory act, which not only threatens the relationship status of the LGBT community, but also the security of quality health care and human rights for all. I encourage all people in favor of equal marriage laws, as well as those in favor of basic human rights, to stand up for what you believe in. There are many who hold reservations as to how long the amendment will survive, and for good reason. We are the future of the United States, and only our generation, young and informed, can stand against inexcusable amendments like Amendment One if we let our voices be heard.

Today, I am not only proud to live in a state which allows marriage equality, but am proud to be involved with an organization like Planned Parenthood. I know that if Amendment One does affect access to health care benefits for those in the LGBT community, Planned Parenthood will be there to offer quality health care for those who need it. With the help of others, especially those of my own generation, I hope to someday be proud to wake up in a place where love is not restricted or defined.

Elise
Marketing Intern, PPRSR

Image via www.hrc.org.

Protecting Your Children From Sexual Assault: Communication is Key!

Written by Theresa Asmus of Rape Crisis Service.

From the moment we come home with our fragile little infant, we parents take the job of protecting our children very seriously. We start with the crib we’ve checked to be sure hasn’t been recalled, we move on to cabinet locks, and before we know it, we’ve got our little ones decked out in a helmet for their first bike ride. As time goes on though, the things we do to keep our kids safe become less tangible. Sadly, there is no gadget we can purchase to keep our kids in happy and healthy relationships and safe from sexual violence. So what can parents do to prevent sexual assault? Lots!

First, we can start teaching our kids about healthy relationships from the time we take them home from the hospital. Children are observant little creatures, and parents serve as the most influential role models from birth. We can treat those around us respectfully, and demonstrate ways to disagree with others and resolve conflicts without resorting to verbal or physical intimidation or abuse. We can make it apparent to our child that respecting others is essential, and assist them in learning to express their feelings and wishes clearly. As our kids grow older, we can seize on teachable moments to get the conversation started. Does the teenage girl across the street come running when her boyfriend comes tearing in the driveway, honking his horn, refusing to come to the door? This is the perfect opportunity to talk with even young children about respect and the ways that people treat you when they truly care for and value you. With older children you can discuss the situation, and brainstorm with them the things that they need from people in order to feel respected, and the things that you know they deserve. Television shows also offer a wealth of teachable moments. Take the opportunity to discuss the relationships being depicted, the gender roles being displayed, and the ways that characters are resolving conflict. This is a much more painless way of discussing relationships that having a big “sit down” when your child starts dating.

As young people begin dating, it is important to make every effort to keep the lines of communication open and remind your kids that you are there to support and protect them. It can be hard to engage teens in conversations about dating, but don’t be afraid to do most of the talking. Continue to seize on the teachable moments you’re presented with. As your child gets older, and their peers begin dating, these teachable moments may hit even closer to home for them than the latest television drama. Sometimes kids who are uncomfortable discussing their relationships with their parents are able to have conversations about what they’ve observed among their peers. Use these conversations to help your child take a critical look at dating and decide what he or she expects from a relationship.

You can also discuss safety with your child. When it comes to sexual assault, our strongest weapon is our instincts. Discuss this with your kids, and let them know that you are there to help them when they’re getting the feeling that things are getting out of hand. Many young people who have been sexually assaulted report that they had a feeling that things were getting out of control, but they didn’t know what to do about it, so we need to be sure that our children know what to do and how we will help them. Would you come pick them up at three in the morning in order to keep them safe, no matter what the circumstances? Make sure your child knows that!

Finally, it is important to insist that the schools and groups that your children attend provide sexual abuse prevention education from a very young age. Children as young as five can learn to identify the common grooming behaviors of sex offenders, and report these behaviors to adults before any abuse is perpetrated. The majority of sex offenses are perpetrated by someone known to the victim, so learning to identify healthy and unhealthy relationships becomes a very effective tool in preventing sexual assault. Because they are starting to consider these things already, adolescent children are in a very good position for this kind of learning. Rape Crisis Service offers evidence-based sexual abuse prevention programs to children as young as five, free of charge. Information about prevention programming or other services provided by Rape Crisis Service can be obtained by calling Theresa Asmus at 344-0516 ext. 111.